I'm seriously addicted to plugging, aren't I? -__-"
Anyway, this entry will be a list of pluggings no da. Late nights make one abnormal. ^_~
First is YUHUI! She told me about her blog a real long time ago but I kept forgetting to link her. *bangs head* Visit her! She has nice unique poems occasionally. xDDD She's one really lovely company and friend. ^-^
Don't ask me. I don't know what that means. ^^;;;
Ahah! And now is the plug for Wowie I promised:
- OKASHIRA NETWORK
- Wowie's LJ
I haven't known Wowie for a long time. But to me, she's real nice and experienced. Visit the sites hosted at her network too! They're brilliant. ^^v
Next up, MICHIRU! She's smart. She's hyper. She's NICE! And her name reminds me of MitRu o_O Great news on her national exams' results nah.. CONGRATULATIONS!
Finally, we have Pershin!
Heh. I realise she's a fellow Laruku and Gackt fan too! *dances gleefully*
One more thing for you, my dear visitor.. *gets mushy* I've added some links to awesome domains. You can find them under the *Domains* section, on the right-hand side of this page. Do check them out when you have the time. They're really worth the visit. *winku* DOMAIN! PLUG!
If you think getting an online domain is easy, think again. Really. I advice you to think it all over.
I've been wanting a paid domain for a very long time now. About 2-3 years perhaps? And I got sooooo happy and excited I finally can have one, sharing with Keax and Yureko.
Well, I'm supposed to get one from my parents as my birthday present but they're both having difficult times financially and I really don't want to be a troublesome demanding kid nah. ^_~
Thus, I decided to save up and get one myself. As easy as it may seem, it's not. Domains and webhostings are EXPENSIVE.
I told Keax about me wanting a domain and all. And boy am I glad I did. xDDD I forgot how, but we end up agreeing on sharing a domain and webhosting plan. Yure too joins into our little domain-sharing.
But it's not a smooth path. T_____T
I can swear on ten fingers and ten toes. It's one very tedious path. Keax, Yure and I, we had countless discussions for the hosting plan issue. We browse from this company to that.
InfluxHosting looked real attractive at first. And I would have gotten it then and there if not for its smaller bandwidth in compared with other more expensive host providers. ^_~
I still like InfluxHost a lot. But we need the bandwidth nah. I really need to thank Keax for pointing that out for me. *huggles Keax in grateful tears*
And then comes various other options from different host providers. Finally, we decided to use site5.
It doesn't end there though. =__=|| There're still many comparisons, terms and conditions which need to be read carefully. I did a lousy job for that. Yet again, Keax is very dependable on times like this. Unlike me.
Speaking of useless leech. T__T *points at ownself*
Yureko does the major part for this whole issue too. We use her credit card to make the payments. Sure, we'll pay her back monthly, but, still, we'll be in a lot of trouble without her help. *tears*
PLUS! We're putting Yure's bank account at risk too. What with internet's faulty security at times and all the sadistic hackers. =o=||
Just when you think coming up with a decision on a webhosting plan is time-and-energy-consuming, you have the domain name to fret over with.
We spent tons of tiring hours and days, trying to come up with a decent and unique name. Keax like words that sound dark and destructive. Yure and I like words that sound dark and angsty, if not, ethereal.
Keax and Yure brought up the word Oceanus. While Keax mentioned Achromatic. I love both words to bits. xDDD But I didn't contribute much to the suggestions of words. Did I tell you I'm useless? =__=
Ok. Just when we settled on the webhosting and the domain name. We thought Achromatic-Oceanus is too long for a name. *dies* It's like, Achromatic is nice. Oceanus is nice too. Put them together and form Achromatic-Oceanus, that's nice too. But it's too long! BAH! *dies* *dies*
Anyway, we just go bleh.. Let's just stick with it. xDDD So yea! We got our domain! Finally! At
Nothing's up yet except for the splash page made by Keax. But I'm so happy I can FLYYYY~~~~!
Finally! Finally! Finally! My OWN domain! Ok, it's shared. But still, it's my OWN domain!! *DANCE~*
Thank you so much, Keax and Yureko. I owe you two really a lot. Thank you so much for your time and efforts nah. ^^v
Dead Tired. And HAPPY!
Ah.. I'm feeling sort of sugar-high for some reasons. I'm really tired too though. O__o Weird.
Anywaaay~
I'mSoHappyIGotToTalkTo Lotus-san!! Heh. Not really talk but emailing each other. We're discussing some plans no da. *secretive*
Oh! Keax! Cielo! Glacier! Wowie! Nice to see you guys around here nah. *glompzes madly* I seriously need to set up my LJ real soon. Can't wait to join Keax and all there. xDDD
Oh, did I mention I LOVE Glacier's blog? No? Well, I'm going to say now..
Major Plug: G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot . G.Spot
Ooofufufu~ xD Next major plug will be for Wowie-san.
Oh, do visit Glacier's new site too - Glomp!. Damn I love the site name. It's got a preeetty layout too!
That's all for today. Ja'
Back? Am I?
Fweeeeeeeee~~! I'm back!! xDDDD WithOUT a layout! ¬__¬ Doh...
Sort of fell into a semi-depression or something over dying anime fandoms. ^^;;; But I'm ok now nah~ *hops around*
I've learnt to let go. Not like I don't have new interests myself. ^_~ Just feeling low when I think back of the past memories I guess.
I still remembered how I used to chat happily and OVER-happily with Lanie, Keax, Frack, Nami, Rivers, Tea-Rose, Toshi, Keijei and her room mate. I'd few short but nice chatting moments with Hana-Heart, Mayumi, Miyuki and Michiru.
I still remember how I always mix up Mayumi with Miyuki. ^^;;;;
I'm still in close contact with Keax. She's a really enjoyable company. *blissful*
However... All the others.. BAH! I feel like crying again. =o=||
I haven't been contacting Lanie for a dead long time. I have tons of mails, written whenever I can't sleep, but I never get the chance to stamp and mail them. I hope it won't be too late now. It's been so long. We may not have the same interests and all to talk about anymore.
I must say, we both changed. Lanie and I. I realised my way and tone of chatting is very much different from before already. Not as hyper. BAH! I'm old.. =o=|| Lanie's not as cheery too. ^_~ I don't know about that now since it's been 2 years since I last chatted with her.
I really really do love her. Not in that way la! *whacks* I just really enjoy chatting with her, sharing my ups and downs with her. I miss her. Really. I cried whenever I remember certain conversations I've shared with her.
Same goes for Frack, Nami, Rivers, Keijei and some others.
I remembered Frack telling me about her parents not wanting her to use the internet that much and chatting with us. She said her parents are constantly busy. She's normally at home alone. Her dad actually tells her to play with herself instead of going online that much. -__-"
Rivers. Dear god. Rivers-san. I miss her too. ;_; She's ALWAYS sharing things with me! She even mailed me a HanaRuSen doujinshi which is very very keeeeewwl~
But she's in the busy life of adulthood already nah. I guess, like Keax had mentioned, she needs to settle down already.
I think I'll still be babbling around with Anime, JRock and Yaoi even when I'm an old granny... But we never know ^_~ Not until the time comes anyway.
I'd still like to befriend Rivers in real life though. She's really nice. I want to be able to help her and all if she needs help. I'll try to contact her again. I have questions to ask her about Kinokuniya anyway. ^^;;
Tea-Rose. Ah. Who won't love her? She's so damn NICE! I envy the special bond between Lanie and TR sometimes. And they are always there for me whenever I need them to be. One more thing for Yaoi fans - Don't we just love her lemons?? xDDD
I try remembering Keijei's roommate but I just couldn't! T___T She's in SDBC too. Both of them. I don't know whether they're still as close as before. I'd really love to chat with them again nah.
I recall them telling me about this school project their working on that had them staying up ALL night and looking like zombies the next morning. Keijei's mom pitied them and let them skip school to stay home and rest. They just went to the school, hand in the project to the teacher and goes back home. O__O How cool can one get??! LOL~ They even told the teacher to give them higher scores. ==||
Ok. Enough of my memories flashback. ^^;; I don't know what I'm doing. =__=
Blood
Heh. Gomen for being away for soooooooo long. Finally back.. without a new layout. xDDDD Ok.. So I'm supposed to be back with a new layout. ¬__¬
Will have the new layout up soon ne. ^^"v And will have new layouts for Ru, Toot, Hong, Ade too. Plus darling Kudos Tribute should be up soon. ~__~ Busy ne...
Ok. Meanwhile, couldn't help myself and posted a fic. I don't own the following Slam Dunk FanFic. It belongs to Jayded Kitsune, also known as Star of Recca in FanFiction.Net
Slam Dunk belongs to Takehiko Inoue
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Author: Jayded Kitsune - Email, FFN account.
Disclaimer: The pain is mine. The characters are not.
BLOOD
I watched silently, as the sun began its slow descent, lowering itself past the clouds, making them blush. The expanse of water before me echoed the sentiment in a slightly different hue, image broken by waves and ripples. The sky above me, all around me, was a deep red.
Red. Red like blood. Blood that was spilled. Spilled from him.
By his own hand.
A breeze picked up, bringing the faint salty smell of the sea with it. I raised a hand to push back my black fringes, lifted my chin towards the crimson heavens, closed my eyes to my misery and my love. And as I breathed in the familiar salt air, my heart jumped. And then it ached.
Ached for the one I loved and lost, one fateful day. Just yesterday.
Why did his bedroom have to be on the same level as the street?
"Akira!" My shocked cry as I swung his door open, to find him cutting. Slicing at his wrists, mincing his muscled arms. Lines on his thighs, scars on his bare stomach. I couldn't move, dared not move. And everywhere, there was blood. Deep red, flowing, relentless.
Blood on the parquet floor we would sit on together. Blood on the bed we would snuggle on. Blood on the legs that would walk me home. Blood on the solid torso that I would lean against. Blood on the arms that would hold me close. Blood on the face that looked so vacant, so desperate, missing its smile.
Blood on the hands that would clasp mine. Blood on the hands that brought about the blood.
"You would never understand." The voice that would calm me, now soft, shaky, as he turned his gaze on me, the blue eyes wavering in sorrow and in fear. Reflecting my inner turmoil. I was afraid. Afraid for me, and afraid for him.
And I was angry, at him, at me, at everything. "Tell me! Help me understand! Why?" I grabbed the light cotton quilt that lay at the foot of his bed, neatly folded and obscenely unstained. But as I leaned towards him, he shrunk away, arm outstretched to keep me away, the blade between his fingers flashing threateningly. "Akira!" I was truly frightened. This was not him, not the person I knew better than myself, not my Sendoh Akira.
He laughed. A low, mirthless laugh that seemed to bounce off the walls of his bedroom, to surround me, ringing in my ears over and over again until I clapped my hands to them, willing it to stop. But still I could hear him. "Why? Do you know what it's like, Kaede, to be me? With a father you've never met, a mother who's never home because she's out with 'clients'? A brother who barely acknowledges you unless he wants someone to vent his frustrations on? To be thrown about, abused, every day of your life, and worse, not be able to show it?"
"Akira..."
"The smile, Kaede. I hid behind a smile. Every day, every person, every thing, I greeted with a plastered smile, like my true feelings had been inverted. People say I always look so happy, Kaede, like nothing could ever faze me. Intense joy. And when you turn those feelings around... Intense sorrow, intense hate. Intense agony."
I wondered how he could do that. Say all that, almost calmly, despite a slightly higher pitch to his voice, a glazed light in his eyes, covered with blood. "Let me help you, Akira. We can get through this together. We will."
Again the harsh laughter rang out. "So naive, my precious Kaede. What can you do? It's too late, much too late for me. Nothing can help me now."
Before I could speak, plead with him to seek medical attention, to see a counsellor, maybe, he cut me off. He stood, swaying a little, unfolding himself from his previous crumpled position on the bed to stand and look me in the eyes. I stepped back. Fear. Sorrow. Anger. Hurt.
"Goodbye, Rukawa Kaede."
What was he thinking? That idiot, that /idiot/! If only I had stopped him, if only I had read his intentions in the deep blue gaze, if only... But he was right. I couldn't do anything. Couldn't stop him from shoving me aside. Couldn't stop him from running out of his room, slamming the door behind him. And as I dashed outside in pursuit of him, I couldn't stop him from sprinting into the road via the open front door. Couldn't stop him.
I couldn't stop the truck that hit him. That hit him, and killed him. Killed him, and my heart with it.
I wanted to. I tried. I opened my mouth and shouted after hiim, hoping that my words could, would, did stop him. But he never let me finish my sentence.
"Akira, I -- "
SCREECH! BANG! CRASH!
I love you.
I could never say those words to him while I still had him, and now he's gone. What is it they say, you never know the worth of water until the well is dry? I know now. Too late. But I know now.
"It wasn't your fault, Rukawa."
"You couldn't have stopped him. No one expected it."
"He loved you. He told me so every day."
"Treasure the memories, Rukawa."
"He's in a better place now."
"Akira loves you. He'll wait for you."
He'll wait for me. My Akira will wait for me.
A smile crossed my face as I turned once more to the ocean, now dark with nightfall. I've forgotten what it feels like to smile. It's so silent atop a seaside cliff. With no one around. Not a single person, besides myself.
My legs failed me once. It cost me dearly. They never will again.
I run now, faster than I ever did, towards the edge of the high cliff at top speed. I feel the muscles in my calves and thighs bunch as I jump off, diving into the raging waves beneath, breaking on the rocks below.
And as the sharp edges pierce my side and the water closes over my head and my body screams for air and I close my eyes and wish for peace, a single thought is in my mind.
Can't let Akira wait too long for Kaede now, can I?